Complicated question and an equally complicated answer but distilled down to its simplest terms.... make peace with that which has happened, change what you can, so that you don't waste the future you have using the present to deal with the past.

Lovely nutshell Kevin. The trickiest part of all is the "change what you can" part of it. There is that line to be drawn somewhere, and the Q is- at what point? Its only Human nature to hope things may/ will/ should get better with time; However, we need to view the scenario via a pragmatic mind right? The issue NOW is in dealing with individuals who simply don't GET it! You know how its like to TRY a million variations and simply run out of innovations. It doesn't mean beyond that point one gives Up. I see it as the zenith of a make-break situation.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves! It is about personal responsibility vs. victim mentality. Sadly it seems there are far too many who would prefer to live in the victim mentality looking for an opportunity to sue someone or receive something for nothing (hand outs) rather than channeling their energies toward striving for full potential and excellence. Personal responsibility is the harder route because some times it requires admitting that maybe I'm in the circumstances I'm in because of a bad choice I made or a missed opportunity. But it's also the most rewarding when you can look back and see where you've pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and succeeded in spite of adversity.

"...victim mentality looking for an opportunity to sue someone or receive something for nothing (hand outs)..."

Agreed 100%. I STRONGLY believe everyone has the POTENTIAL more than they realize. We can release our energy into dew drops and form oceans. Its all in our hands! Every single achievement so far by man has been via the same cytoplasmic constituents. Agreed? We are all MORE or LESS born with equal tools. God gifts us in different ways AT DIFFERENT PHASES of Life. I agree some are born WAY more challenged that others. But didn't Beethoven create the symphony?

It's easier to blame others than take responsibility for your life. As Jack Canfield suggests, take 100% responsibility for your life. You create your own reality. If you don't like something, change your thoughts and your attitude. Life shows contrasts for you to be able to choose what You would like to experience. You can learn and grow from all your experiences.

Noemi- Agreed. We need to divert our expectations from others to raising them on ourselves. If we could only try to become better everyday, would we be 365 times better every year?

The issue is when some insecure individuals try too hard to control the flow of others lives, despite not having their own in order. Every soul is given one body and its our own right what we cultivate with the tools gifted by God. Its only an excuse looking someone to blame and point their index fingers at. Its simply unbelievable how some NEVER get tired of this futile habit of no good to anyone.

Whenever pointing your finger at someone else, remember that there are 3 fingers pointing back at you... ;0)

Ohhh...
I didn't say it was your fault, I just said that I was going to BLAME you...! ;0)

Dina, thanks for being you, and for bringing up all these good questions... I stopped blaming... I don't even blame myself... ;0)
Feels fantastic...!

But you my dear, I will BLAME for making everyone think...!
Thank you...! ;0)

Rikke-You're Welcome, and with pleasure i take the blame completely for making everyone think :)

Good point Dina,

re. what point to draw the line...sometimes things are not so black and white...that is where changing thought and attitude comes into play. All free will...relax and go slow.

Henri- Thank You. Yes, change of attitude CERTAINLY changes the entire scenario within our minds. Yes- Free will to the rescue!

In my opinion, people really tend to blame others in order to escape handling responsibility. Victimizing themselves seems easier and in their minds, it saves energy!! well, on the short-run, it does -for the sake of argument- but on the long-run, that energy they thought they saved will accumulate in a very negative form and get released in the worst forms ever... i think people should deal with whatever problems they face, on a personal level or higher -if they could- like in their community for example, before they run out of reasons to blame others and lose themselves to anger and frustration.
However, it's important to know that if they can't handle big problems, like wars for instance, getting angry and frustrated over them won't do people any good. So try to spread peace and love around you, it'll create waves like gently throwing a rose petal on the surface of a lake, who knows whom and where the waves may touch? Martin Luther King had a dream, I don't think he imagined himself being an icon or a true leader and a history maker one day!! But he did :)

No, because every mistake is a lesson learned by the soul. The experiences learned by the mistakes will eventually enable the being to perfect himself or herself.

Mistakes,like problems are gifts,lessons,opportunities to practice love.