57. Leverage  

Posted by Dr. Dheena Sadik in , , ,

Do you think its UNFAIR some are born with a silver spoon with parents to support every step they DESIRE? While others are born with the GREATEST challenges at the expense of having to give up their ambitions ONLY because they can't AFFORD it despite having the potential it requires?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 1:23 PM and is filed under , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


Joe Kleinberg  

I have seen more dysfunction in people who have every desire, and it is harder to escape that cycle than living a difficult life.

Everything for a reason my dear. The wise sages for thousands of years have preferred the difficult life over the easy, for just this reason.

August 4, 2009 at 1:44 PM

Oh. Almost forgot. Our global currency system is in collapse, so money will be history in a few short years anyway ;-)

August 4, 2009 at 1:45 PM

Joe- 1 Scenario, there are 2 kids who passed with identical grades. Both choose medicine as their career. If one of them can't afford to make it because his/ her Dad can't afford it then how unfair is this? They both got the same grades right. Also, remember, its not pragmatic for this student to pay off the fees him/ herself as you can't work and study medicine due to the load. What perspective?

August 4, 2009 at 1:45 PM
Henri Coleman  

That is something I have always had a question about...why are some more "fortunate" than others...I have tried to resolve that question through my understanding that we all come with a certain purpose to fulfill; therefore, we actually "chose" our own specific challenges to work out in this lifetime. That has helped me to resolve some of that question to some extent, I suppose. What are your thoughts on that?

August 4, 2009 at 1:46 PM

Henri- That's not what I see here. Trust me TOO many kids give up their ambitions ONLY because their parents afford to pay for University. Nope, donations aren't an alternative option over here. What's even sadder is the fact some are REALLY intelligent and DESERVE a seat more than some others with average grades. I say this on behalf on eligibility.

August 4, 2009 at 1:46 PM
Suchith I Ekanayake Ameresekere  

Well D, the way I see it,its not really a question of fair or unfair.its the circumstances that they are born under... Another point that ppl should consider before having kids is,if they are in a position to offer that kid a good life if they arn't its not fair to bring a life into this world just to make that poor kid suffer... what's your view of it? :)

August 4, 2009 at 1:50 PM

Suchith- Yes, I agree about the sensibility in having kids, but as you may know what happens is young parents don't predict the practicality in the reality of the future. Plus some of them assume they could get along with middle class lives unaware of the fact they can't control the exposure their children receive. Hence, there is now clashes between economic levels between the 2 generations.

August 4, 2009 at 1:51 PM
Joe Kleinberg  

Karma is the motive force behind every major event during a persons life.

To become a doctor is to help people. But one does not have to become a doctor to do this. Take away the money a doctor makes, would it still be the desired path?

Is the motive to make family impressed? An inner hole like that, may never be filled by ones worldly success.... Read More

The strong motivation that exists between certain people is due to their connection from past existence. That is why there could be a member of the family that is ignored, while a total stranger feels as a brother.

Unfold this truth, and one will find the answers they seek.

To fill a void of love, requires insight about the true nature of the void, and ultimately forgiveness ;-)

August 4, 2009 at 1:52 PM

Joe- There are MANY young adults who want to become doctors and other professionals for the RIGHT reasons apart from the money involved. Even if this wasn't true, we DO need them as an essential part of the society.

August 4, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Lena Mitchell Jasiak  

I like what you say Joe regarding karma & motivation.

August 4, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Maduka Jayalath  

every one born with nothing and die with nothing

August 4, 2009 at 1:53 PM
Joshua.C. Nsiyaludzu  

To be honest i'm not sure! My question though is who determines what is fair! What I mean is, there is a structure in regards to wealth and all, I for one at times would think that maybe if my parents had been rich and all maybe I'd be somewhere else in life. The funny thing is that somewhere out there, there is someone who only dreams or wishes to... Read More be in my shoes and achieve what ever they think they could had they been in my shoes. I have realized however that in life, once you have reached a point of realization that such a structure in life exists, by doing so you'd have reached the nascent stage of breaking out into society and being what you want to be. A good example is Wycliffe Jean, a refugee from Haiti, despite being poor and all, he refused to accept his status as a hindrance to his progression in achieving his dreams. I think the best thing in life is to be what u want to be or at least die trying. It's really hard to say if it's fair or not!

August 4, 2009 at 1:54 PM

Joshua- This is SO very true. Its ALL about relativity. 9>5>3. Its a common sense many fail to ponder upon. Its an inevitable root to the insatiable desire for power.

August 4, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Manoj Chhabria  

Life shows us different colours, one as to accept the reality & walk upon.....

August 4, 2009 at 1:56 PM
Loraine Jackson  

We as Humans must learn to accept that sorrow exists and use what resources we have to live a spiritual path and our knowledge to encourage and nurture change, where possible regardless of our status!

August 4, 2009 at 1:57 PM
Mia Goldsmith  

Having married into a family with money and seen what actually happens, prefer to be on the outside broke. xx

August 4, 2009 at 1:57 PM
Roxanne Mather  

Being both gifted AND coming from the working class, I have always struggled with class antagonism. HELL NO it ain't fair...but that doesn't mean I didn't choose the conditions of my life before it began...neither does it mean I wish I had had the benefit of comfort...in fact, the GIFT of poverty (and obviously this is a relative term) or should we say "lack" brought me to a place of great resilience, self-sufficiency, flexibility and tolerance. I would not have been the effective Union Organizer that I was, for example, had I not known the oppressive effects of poverty/ignorance firsthand. As they say, Necessity is the Mother of Invention...
namaste and thanks for the question.

August 4, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Nikhil Kripalani  

study all self made millionaires, most of them have humble beginnings. mother nature tests us to the core before sharing with us her bounty. after all survival of the fittest first applies to humans as we invented the quotation :)

August 4, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Dante Martinez  

Nikhil - wouldn't all 'self made' millionaires have humble beginnings by definition?? Now - study the majority of millionaires and you will not find humble beginnings. Wealth begets wealth. That does not mean one cannot rise up from poverty but it does make it a challenge.

August 4, 2009 at 1:59 PM
Kevin DiVico  

Life has never meant to be fair , it was meant to be life.

taking away the philosophy and religious motivations as explanations for why we do something (Karma, fate, predestination, etc) what you are asking Dheena is whether we should have a more merit based system to following ones life path or desire. I think to raise the base line to such a system would be desirable in the world, however you will always have a 3-6000 member superclass at the height of the range.

I say the following - the obstacles that life puts in your place is the universe seeing how bad you want to achieve your dream. This is a not a measure of success, or riches or things but of how strong your desire is. whether poor or rich , if you want to achieve something there will be obstacles, how you handle them makes all the difference in the world.

@Niknil & @ Dante - both of your statements are only opinion . Either one of your statements could be true but without knowing the country, economic time line being considered, etc ...without data to back them up they are equally valid but only from an anecdotal point of view.

when studying billionaire in the US during the beginning of the 20th century, most came from either no money or well off middle class - only one came from true wealth and that was Rockefeller. Most went bankrupt at some point in there life, some a few times.

So the when faced with the question of wealth generation - your statements both contain a shred of truth... the background does not matter as much as the drive to succeed.... Read More

I put forth that regardless of wealth it does mean they followed there life's desire or are satisfied with it...

August 4, 2009 at 2:00 PM
Nikhil Kripalani  

Dante - millionaire and self made millionaires are different, also the heavy spending millionaires heavy earners heavy spenders are not real millionaires, read the millionaire next door.

August 4, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Goorgeous Synner  

Absolutely I agree. Some are born with silver spoons, while I have seen many doctors who are brilliant, which have come from poorer countries, and done so well here.
One which operated on me, and who was and Asian prof.
Everyone deserves a silver spoon, and a damn decent fair chance......NO EXCEPTIONS !

August 4, 2009 at 2:01 PM

Thank You ALL for your breathtaking input. Truly appreciate ALL your opinions. The Unity in Diversity is over- flowing here. Light and Love to ALL!

August 4, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Jamela Khan  

The study of any 'great' one - millionaire or in other forms, show that self-made is not quite correct,usually. There are a set of circumstances that allow the opportunity to arise. Bill Gates lived near the university, his high school had the gift of a computer system, a professor allowed them access anytime, the ladies club made the donation etc ... Read Moreetc.. Mahatma Gandhi lived in South Africa for almost 28 years. He was grounded in inequality, saw the futility of violence and took the lessons back to India. Martin Luther King also lived the inequity, and when he spoke of a dream, it was the dream of millions of oppressed. Other circumstances affected all these changes - WW11, VietNam, young, idealistic people all over the world, writers - Satre, Fanon...
Good reading is Malcolm Gladwell - The Outliers.

August 4, 2009 at 2:02 PM
Chuck Kuehnle  

What I think is not important....what is important is how I live MY life and how I teach and nurture my own children..... and/or myself! Silver spoon or not, we all have our own burdens and being a 'victim' to someone else's situation is a choice I'm not willing to make. Life is what it is and as it is and I choose to work hard and do the best I can - who knows what lies ahead. I am in charge of myself :)

August 4, 2009 at 2:03 PM
Gus Reifenkugel  

No.I think it is a matter of perspective.People like Gandhi,Peace Pilgrim and Mother Teresa took vows of poverty for a reason.Desires,attachments hinder growth as Buddha mentions.

August 4, 2009 at 2:03 PM
Mary Beth Porter  

Sometimes the greatest challenge is the greatest gift and those blessed to gain the gifts from challenge are even more able to connect to their ambitions than the ones with the silver spoon. Appreciate the cards you have been dealt, even in rough times, for they are exactly what is needed then to eventually live your purpose and conquer your dreams... Read More. Never give up b/c you "think" you can't afford to move forward (can't is just a myth) - the world is full of possibilities to enable your true ambitions to flourish - you must however keep the fire alive to attract what you need and ultimately acheive. If you need help with your dreams, message me b/c I believe in YOU!

August 4, 2009 at 2:04 PM

"Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals." ~Dorothy Height

So I say, NEVER GIVE UP!!!! Keep trying and there would be doors and windows open for you from the most unexpected sources.

August 4, 2009 at 2:04 PM
Eugene James Williams  

Yes, I think it is very unfair. But it is just time for the West to be the head. The East was the head for a very long time. But opportunity will shift back to the East one day.

August 4, 2009 at 2:04 PM
Victor Shanti  

The fairness depends upon whether matter and energy can be created or destroyed anywhere in hyper-dimensional space.

I anticipated that my first response was far too esoteric for the many. However, Dheena, as one who is a student of Physics, and as one who demonstrates evolutionary wisdom infering an accumulation of knowledge over kotis of kalpas, the question I posed is the heart of the matter. "Fairness" is superficial, subjective and beneath your intellectual capacity!

August 4, 2009 at 2:05 PM
Kevin DiVico  

@Victor - nice to meet you. I disagree with your second post, i don't think your post was to esoteric for most. Esoteric is defined as - understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; yet what you posted was a variation in wording of the law of conservation of energy (in an enclosed system) which is also reflected in Einsteins E= MC squared and I think everyone here has either heard or seen that equation at least once in there life.

Now, if you wanted to raise the controversy surrounding Hawkins theory on Black Holes in relation to E=MC squared then yes thats for a more physics oriented audience.

Never underestimate your readers, like students they tend to surprise you.

Oh and I voiced the same idea i my life is not meant to be fair post. Life is life, what we as Humans make of it in the social-economic systems we create is where the system of fairness comes into play.

We create the sense of fiarness and unfair, therefore it is within our power to level the playing field and make not perhaps a fair system but one that is neutral when examining the merits of ones potential.

August 4, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Guru Teamadmin  

i think every soul when not in physical form decide his own path for next life depending upon his past life experiences.according to these experiences soul chooses new mothers womb.aim of every soul is too reach ultimate that is spiritual path because in this material world we have forgotten that we all are souls having physical experiences.these are my views.please correct me if am wrong
OM SHanthi
love and peace

August 4, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Kevin DiVico  

@Guru Teamadmin - you have an interesting belief there. I myself am humbly trying to follow the eightfold path and would , with respect propose another way to look at the cycle of birth and circumstances.

In my studies I have come across Dependent origination: that any phenomenon 'exists' only because of the ‘existence’ of other phenomena in a complex web of cause and effect covering time past, present and future. Because all things are thus conditioned and transient (anicca), they have no real independent identity (anatta).

Siddhārtha Gautama states that Man can chose to tread the path of nirvana, achieve the spiritual awaking of Bodhi and see the truth of reality as it is. as such, would it not matter what choice the soul makes as to parentage if, no matter the circumstances one's born into, one can chose to seek out enlightenment and achieve it whether pauper or king....

I truly like the site you have by the way at http://spiritualsoul.ning.com/ ...nicely done.


August 4, 2009 at 2:07 PM

Dr. Dina Sadik. I am already your fan.

August 4, 2009 at 4:54 PM
Raymond Stevenson  

Hello Dheena....we are only human , and unable to fathom the highness of Gods ways.

He chose the hour of your birth, the times you where born into, your family social and ethnic back ground and even your Gender where decided by him.
He knew you in the womb , it is his breath in your nostrils.

He directs your steps in life...he saw the end from the beginning in regards to your life.... Read More

How are we to fathom what is fair and what is not fair, when God is in control of everything that is going on, right down to the next breath you draw, the next beat of your heart ?

Grace and Peace to you....always!

August 5, 2009 at 3:06 AM

Raymond- Thank You for sharing your wisdom. Really appreciate your perspective. Well, its sometimes hard to accept all the suffering i certain arenas in life and other parts of our wide family. May God bring justice to one and all someday!

August 5, 2009 at 3:11 AM
Matoke Amos  

Dheena this is really a topic which I can also comment on it .For me I was born in a family where parents don't support there children .But I did not give up ,have struggled so much in my life and sometimes you ask yourself why then was I born in this world to suffer? sometimes you see your friends always happy under the care and full support of parents while In my side none is helping ....................But what I said and dacided is ,I wont give up in life,I will struggle to change the picture of our family one day......and I know Once we ask, GOD is ready to provide.

What I did ,I have been doing Petty and errands jobs to pay for my part time college ,I have done it for 3 years suffering,sometimes you sleep empty stomach and sometimes you work a very long distance so that you can save for the school fees instaed of matatu.That is what I have been doing for the last 4 years atill now I have 3 years course where by a need a job so that I can jion immedietely masters..

August 5, 2009 at 3:12 AM
Shane O'Riordan  

Thank you for sharing Dheena.

August 5, 2009 at 3:12 AM
Jennifer Modeste-Jarvis  

D, I answered this post and the one about support up there in that post..

But, very rarely do you see children who have it all , persue higher education. They are trained to take on the family business and just learn enough to continue.

It's ambition that drives one to persue one's goals and dreams and to break that poverty cycle, regardless of circumstances. If you want something, it doesn't matter how long, but you will attain it.... Read More

@ Matoke, I salute you, keep at it and best of luck.

August 5, 2009 at 3:13 AM
Raymond Stevenson  

I think Matokes comment realy does illustrate how there are a million and one things (good and evil) that Adam and Eve would never have experienced if they had stayed in the Garden.

Note Matokes faith in God providing when he needs it....for God surely will provide...but Matoke needs to remember that this will be in Gods own time for Matoke, and he must keep the Faith and never give up...no matter how long things may take.

Ask and ye shall receive ! (Jesus Christ)

August 5, 2009 at 3:13 AM
Victor Shanti  

Hello Kevin, Hello Dheena. Hello all. What a fascinating cohort vibrating in harmony with the entity Dr. Dheena Sadik. Kevin, (are you a native New Yawker, as am I?) in alignment with Dependent Origination and the revelations of Fractal Geometry, the multi-vibratory, multi-dimensional entity self-awarely describing itself as "human" in this saha ... world, would seem to have as much of an independent existence as a tsunami does in three dimensions, except we are solitons in hyperdimensional space-time and then some dimensions. As such, all is "fair" and "unfair" simultaneously. Those labels are effects which become causes for other events manifesting which are then interpreted by self and other entities as effects, ad infinitum. The universe is chaotic, but it is not random. Even considering the Second Law of Thermodynamics, to accept a universe of effects without causes is untenable. In short, a silver spoon at birth, a begging bowl, or SuperBowl in mid journey, are not random phenomena.

August 5, 2009 at 5:31 AM

if they're born this way, then there is Wisdom behind it, we may know it or not, but i've seen people struggling and u think their life is so unfair to end up being LEGENDS while the silver-spooned people live and die without being aknowledged as the mere fact of being good people!! it's not the money or power although it helps of course in so many ways, not all the rich are bad, not all the poor will end up being great people, but it's life, acceptance and challenge is the key, you can't change the fact that you're born rich or poor but you can change this situation in the future, some ppl work hard and build themselves from scratch and become millionaires while others lose their inherited money, the first type of people work hard and don't waste their time grieving over their bad luck, they're born that way, it's done, God always works in incomprehensible ways for us humans and only a few are granted the enlightment to know the wisdom behind certain facts in life

August 5, 2009 at 6:44 AM

Fair and unfair are relative to our own perception of reality. On universal level there is no right and wrong, no good and evil.

When a soul decides to incarnate they pick the life and challenges they want to face in order to evolve a specific skill, knowledge or experience. We cannot say it's unfair for someone to be born poor, underprivileged or mentally incapable when that soul picked those EXACT conditions for themselves.

Instead of labeling we should accept their existence as it is because we don't know what they are here to learn. I've read in a spiritual book that some of the most evolved souls choose to incarnate into very challenging lives in order to teach those around them a lesson. Now that is something to ponder.

August 12, 2009 at 2:07 AM

this is why i believe in karma/ reincarnation.

September 29, 2009 at 4:52 PM

I believe those who are born in seemingly harsh conditions are no different than those born with a silver spoon; they only differ if you look at it from one side (food, wealth, connectedness with nature, experiencing true love...etc) only then can one of them seem advantageous over the other. But that would be a skewed perspective; judging something so multifaceted by only one aspect of it

When one is or seeks to be in-tune with his mission, with the flow around him; issues like privileges and well-being become mere matters of concern for spectators of his life and, for him, it is just a route that he chose to get to a destination that will either get him there or tell him where he needs to go

If one is not living for a mission or to seek balance, usually this will lead him to see life from single-colored lenses and sway from one extreme to another, maybe or maybe not, finding peace in one or in neither

I'm born with things others haven't even heard of and i have my challenge & journey that others may think of it as one of the hardest there is and walking through it sometimes left me shaking in bed with anxiety. Others may not know whether they'll be eating today or not and sleep at night at ease, even on empty stomach after they've had a nice talk with their friends or made love with the one they truly desire and adore.

To me, it's not just a matter of how you look at it but also a matter of what you're living for

May 17, 2010 at 12:12 AM

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